Even though I fully intend to make the most of this blog and cover all manner of topics (well, pop culture ones anyway) I'm going to be easing my way back into the habit with something simple. Something pure. Something badass.
The setup:
Some young hoodlums are holding up some kind of corner shop (or convenience store if you'd prefer) but the stereotypical ethnic shopkeeper refuses to hand over any money. These thugs don't care though, they're probably whacked out on PCP or something and just totally lose it. Prepare to witness awesome depiction of superpowers.
Remember kids, stay in school or you could end up doing drugs and shooting stereotypes!
There's just no way that could get any cooler, right? Dude just totally caught some bullets whilst invisible. This cannot be out badassed.
It, I believe, is on!
That right there is some Comic Book Badassery. Not only that, but later in the same issue J'onn uses his shape-changing and telepathy to grant an old woman's dying wish and let her speak with her son one more time. That is pure class, and that's also the reason why Martian Manhunter is the first person to appear on This Sentence No Verb's all new and totally uninteractive feature: People I'd Quite Like To Go For A Pint With.
Word. Yet another entirely inadequate opening. Starting things like this is always the hardest. Let's just get right to it, as the actress said to the bishop.
Ouch. That was spectacularly weak.
Ok, so if you actually listened to me and started reading Jon Carey's Facedown In The Gutters then you'd know that we're about to come to the end of the Top Ten Marvel and DC characters as voted for by readers of FITG. It's been a long ride and the tensions has really been getting to me with this one. We only have the top two from each list to go now and I'm pretty sure that I know who these 4 people are going to be. For the Marvel side we've yet to see Spider-Man or Captain America and for DC it's Batman and Robin. And it's got me worried.
I think it's pretty cool that Batman and Robin are still to come and what would be even more awesome would be if Tim Drake got placed higher than Bruce Wayne. It won't be that surprising if he doesn't but I'm holding out for a little miracle of taste. What I'm worrying about is "What if Spider-Man beats Captain America?"
Now I'm a Spidey-Fan. Always have been and always will be no matter how many Clone Sagas or Sins Past we get. But Cap should win. Now, a lot of people who don't read comics don't "get" Captain America. They see him as a ridiculous symbol of that United States flag-saluting-we're-number-one-brash-tourist-gun-toting- insanity brand of patriotism that so many people around the world find so frightening. He's not. Captain America is all the things about America that people love, be they big or small. He's Mark Twain and Cheers, liberating Europe and BBQ sauce, big melting pot, boundless enthusiasm and a written constitution. And most importantly of all, the thing that sums up why Captain America represents all that is great about the US is very straightforward and it's amazing that more people don't pick up on it straight away - he carries a shield, not a sword. Captain America saves lives.
That makes me want to salute too.
A little bit ranty there, I know, but it gets to me sometimes. I get tired of hearing people knock Captain America purely on the basis of the name. This isn't directed at anyone who reads this, it's more about people I work with who either know nothing or just a little bit about comics and say things like "You like Captain America?! I've never liked the idea of Captain America." These people don't get the idea of Captain America and they're a little bit racist to boot with their non-stop "Yanks are stupid, the English are so much better" rants. You all know the sort.
The thing is though, if these xenophobic chumps were attacked by Nazis or supervillains then Cap would still come and save them because that's who he is. Me? I'd probably just leave them to it but I'd like to think that maybe I'd try and save them regardless of my distaste because I think that there's a little of Steve Rogers in everyone around the world. It's the part of us that always strives for us to better ourselves and stand up for what's right. That's what we should do. That's a hero.
Now so far on This Sentence No Verb I think I've done pretty good at focussing on the positive in comics. OK, I did lay into Thor #2 before the greatness of #3 and I may have had that Ark-of-the-Covenant-ugly panel of Catwoman but generally I've kept it to a minimum. I've tried to bring to you (the hypothetical reader figure) a little slice in every post of why I love comics. Apart from the posts that aren't about comics, natch. I think that I've always endeavoured to give you a little bit of awesome. But tonight...
Is no different! Seamless introduction over with it's time to drop science on those assembled!
I honestly think that at the moment there are some very fine comics out there - Captain America, She-Hulk, Blue Beetle, All New Atom and so on. They're especially good if you keep away from all that Countdown To Final Secret Invasion War: Disassembled Messiah Crisis bobbins that's going on. One of the true highlights at the moment is Matt Fraction's Punisher: War Journal. It's the perfect book to bring the grim and gritty 90s-Cool Punisher back into the mainstream Marvel Universe.
It's a title that gives you not only gratuitous violence, pretty art and colourful supervillains, it's actually pretty smart in a subversive kind of way. Hell, the saddest moment printed in any Marvel comic about the death of Captain America came in War Journal when Frank Castle hears the news. That's a testament to Matt Fraction - I can have my face rocked and mind blown for 22 pages but I also get my heart tugged for two. Not to bring too much with the hyperbole here but when I read War Journal I get the same feeling I do when I read Walt Simonson's Thor or Gail Simone's Birds of Prey - here is someone writing comics who gets it. I've not read any of his work on Iron Fist but I've heard many good things about it and I don't know if I can keep myself from getting it for much longer but what I do know for sure is that Mr Fraction's veins run with pure unadulterated awesomosity.
Issue 11 comes at the end of an arc where the Punisher takes on the Hate-Monger - a Nazi supervillain wearing a swastika adorned version of the late Captain America's costume. Arc recap in extremely brief - Naturally, when the Hate-Monger's immigrant killing ways made the papers our Frank wasn't too happy with the fact a fascist was wearing something that evoked the memory of Cap. So Frank heads on down to take him out in his own imitable way. Oh yeah, and to do so Frank made his own version of Captain America's costume:
Liquid Awesome.
However, after a lot of blood has been shed and the Hate-Monger killed, Frank is left with the realisation that maybe there isn't much difference between him and the Hate-Monger. Of course, there's also the matter of Bucky - Captain America's former WWII Kid sidecick turned Soviet assasin cyborg turned morally grey good guy. Unsurprisingly, Bucky isn't dealing so well with Cap's death and he's not too pleased about The Punisher diserespecting the uniform. We join our two anti-heroes just after superhuman robot assassin Bucky has challenged crazed vigilante The Punisher to a fight. Things do not look good for Mr Castle.
Comic Book Badassery! Live and in your face!
Like the animal cruelty the other night, CBB isn't all about the big moments, it's the smaller things too. Expectations are confounded and in those two pages we get a brilliant summary of the Punisher and who he is. A man seeking vengeance in a world of over-the-top superheroics. A man who knows he can't live up to the ideals of another former soldier fighting the good fight. A tragically conflicted character who can never get back the life he wanted. A man who will knock you the fuck out if you call him chicken. And that's another reason why I love comics.
Matt Fraction: I salute you. I'm going to have to start reading Iron Fist now aren't I?
And we're back with the most diligent examination of Asgardian real estate that you're ever going to find on this or any other internet! We have Thor #3 so let's check out what advice Thor has been seeking about property law! As ever, click to make the pictures economy sized.
Yes! It's still going on. JMS can really stretch out an idea, can't he?
I kid! I kid! That isn't what this post is about. It's time to get my review on!
You may or may not have noticed that I'm quite a fan of Thor and as such I was looking forward to this new series. Especially when I realised that it was being written by J. Michael "Babylon 5" Straczynski. Then I remembered that he's also J. Michael "Sins Past" Straczynski and the anticipation changed to dread that it was going to suck more than Star Trek V. Issue #1 was very much a setting up of the series with Donald Blake explaining that whilst all the Asgardians were dead (actually dead, not Valhalla or Niffelheim dead) and the cycle of Ragnarok had been broken that something of the Gods still lived on in the minds of men, so Thor returned to seek out his friends, family and probably some foes too.
Issue #2...well, I talked about this already and I was less than impressed.
Then I saw the preview of Issue #3 and my heart really began to sink. It didn't look like it was going to be any good at all.
Issue #3 hit the stands this week. One more chance. We had better get some top notch action in this one or else. Well Thor, did we get some top notch action?
Oh SNAP!
The preview promised some kind of confrontation with Iron Man which was only moderately exciting because, well Tony's had a beatdown from Spidey, She-Hulk, The Hulk and pretty much every other hero in the MU recently. Just another in the latest of a long line of Someone-Beats-Down-On-Tony-Stark-But-Tony-Has-Some-Sort-Of-Special-Device-Or-Suit-Of-Armour-That-Makes-It-Evenly-Matched-So-Even-Though-Tony-Is-A-World-Class-Dick-He-Doesn't-Get-The-Smackdown-We-Want-To-See type fights. So, here we go again. Yeah, we get the action that this series needs but the fight's going to be exactly the same. Or is it? Or IS it? OR IS IT?
Here we go with the repulsor blast that'll take Thor out. *sigh*
See?
Hold on a minute there Captioning John , is the next panel actually incredibly awesome? Could it be Thor completely unharmed?
Holy crap Main Post Writing John! You're right! It looked like I jumped the gun there a little bit.
Hang on, do you too have the wonderful feeling that when we're going to turn the page that all is going to be right with the world?
No way. We can't be that lucky. Can we? I mean, so far this series has been all about Thor tooling about in Asgard. There's no way that we're going to get some Comic Book Badassery. It's just not going to happen.
It is on my friends. It. Is.ON.
HOT DAMN! If anything deserves an Action Replay, it's that!.
SPANNG!
One more time!
*sniff* It's just...beautiful --sob--
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!
From this point on this issue rocked my face. Tony gets a serious beatdown and doesn't even manage to scratch Thor and all the while the Odinson is using his own inimitable style of Asgardian smack-talk.
And if you think that's good, you should hear Thor's stack of "Yo' Momma" jokes.
There was even a reveal at the end of the issue. Remember the New Orleans guy from the preview who had a go at Thor? Well, it turns out that the reason he is so sad is because he is harbouring more than his own grief, he's also experiencing the grief of the Gods because he's go an Asgardian clamped onto his soul. Thor frees Heimdall from the minds of mortals and returns to Asgard with the guardian of the Rainbow Bridge.
There are one or two minor criticisms I can make though, the issue still suffers a little bit from too much talky and not enough hitty and Thor does let Tony leave (even if he makes him walk home) but I can forgive that. I can forgive it because as a whole the issue was one that makes me punch my fist in the air. We know what's coming up next too, Thor is going to carry on searching for the Asgardians so it's probably going to be Balder or Sif in the next issue. That's OK I suppose. JMS has already achieved awesomeness here so we can't expect him to match it in the next issue by bringing back the Warriors Three or something.
Hello again. I'm back to do another little post here in an attempt to keep my brain going, pass the time and share a love with you all. CBB or Comic Book Badassery is essentially the moment in a comic when you go "Wow! That's badass!" You may not use those exact words, but the sentiment is pretty easy to grasp. Usually these moments tend to involve somebody getting punched really hard or something being blown up but there are plenty of other badass moments which just showcase superpowers in a novel yet undeniably awesome way. And it's one of those that I want to share with you tonight.
This piece of CBB comes from Dan Jurgens' run on Thor, Thor #29 (Vol. 2) to be exact. Thor and the Warriors Three (a viking Three Musketeers if you will) have just battled the Wrecking Crew who were attempting to steal the powers of the Asgardians and though the Wrecking Crew were driven off, Hogun the Grim was slain in the battle. Awesome as the battle was, what follows is absolutely textbook CBB. We join Thor, Fandral the Dashing and Volstagg the Voluminous as they grieve over their lost comrade. As ever, click to enlarge.
It's that Asgardian dialogue that does it for me. If I am ever attended by friends as I shuffle off this mortal coil I demand that someone uses the phrase "By the bristling beard of Odin!" Hell, I demand people start using that phrase when ordering a pint. "By the bristling beard of Odin, where is my Thwaites' Mild, bar wench?"
Even if you are unfamiliar with Thor's powers you have got to have some idea as to where this is going, right? That tingling sense of anticipation is the first sign that you're about to get some CBB. Additionally comic tradition states that when Thor starts reminding people just how cool he is we know that it is about to be on.
Even Fandral knows that what will happen next is going to be totally boss, radical and killer.
That my friends, is what we describe as "well skill". Just look at that final panel! You never saw Clooney doing anything like that at his hospital, did you? Thor is one of the most powerful and deservedly braggadacio of heroes and nothing says "I am so cool they use my ass to power the Casket of Ancient Winters" like restarting someone's heart with lightning.
The dialogue too. What Thor actually says; "Let sing the voices of Asgard! HOGUN LIVES!" is truly badass in and of itself but what your brain translates this as is altered by his pose, whited-out-by-power-eyes and the magnitude of what has just happened. I don't know about you, but when I look at that panel, Thor has become so cool that I read it as this:
Thor: The John Shaft of Marvel.
There we are, a pure moment of CBB that I love to read over and over again. If, when Tony Blair said there were 24 hours to save the NHS, he brought in the Odinson rather than consultants and targets to reduce waiting lists we'd probably have the best healthcare in the world. No wonder Scandinavian countries always beat us. Could Thor ever work for one of New Labour's PFI hospitals though?
If only backbenchers displayed as much cojones as the Thunderer.
Remember kids, stay in school or you could
There's just no way that could get any cooler, right? Dude just totally
It, I believe, is on!
