So, here we go...

And hello!

Welcome to This Sentence No Verb!

What exactly is this place?

Well...





It's that baby! Oh yeah, we've moved on to bigger and better surroundings! There's no way that I could carry on not having a little corner of the interweb to make my home but this time there's a difference. This is not going to be a whingy internet diary. This is where I will write things that I want to write! They'll be self-contained! They'll have a point! Pseudo-Essays on, say, Lancashire Life! Pop Culture! 30 Things! Film Ideas! Reviews of things! Great jokes! Satire! News analysis! Grand Unified Theory!





Out of context comic panels!



YouTube videos!

And much more! You might notice a post beneath this one, but that was just a test. This is where it all begins, this is the inaugral post. Now I don't plan to blow your mind with the first post - I am a little worse for wear after yesterday's late night and my brain is pretty much frazzled but that doesn't matter. At the moment I've only a general idea of what I want this place to be and that might change over time but there are two things I want to do tonight.

Firstly, check out the links on the right there (or the Blogroll as I believe it may be known to the kids these days.) each and every one of those pages is immensely entertaining and worthwhile in its own way and should be investigated at some point by you! Yes, YOU! Next time you're browsing the InformationSuperBusRoute and you run out of things to do, just pop over here and hit one of those links. It will entertain you. Probably more than the rest of this page and the things I write. No, wait, I shouldn't start off with too negative an attitude. Let's rephrase that: It will entertain you. Definitely more than the rest of this page and the things I write! Plus, all the people who write those pages are absoultely lovely. Some of them are scientists, some of them are journalists but all of them are awesome!

Right, that's that out of the way with, let's move on to the second thing. You know what this place is by now and the sort of thing that you might find there, but where am I coming from writing all this, who am I and why should my opinions matter?* The only way to answer quickly and efficiently is with...

...30 Things About Me!

1. My full name is John David Thompson but I would love to be called either John David Julio Thompson or Rizwan McGuire.

2. I'm 26 years old and was born on the same day that Bucks Fizz won the Eurovision song contest. A good day for the UK in many ways.

3. I support Blackburn Rovers, the greatest football team. (In East Lancashire)

4. I have poor to middling writing skills, but cover it up with jokes stolen from a computer games magazine of the 90s. It says here.

5. I once went for a piss next to Michael Boulton.

6. Despite my doughy exterior, I once battled the forces of nature and triumphed over quicksand with a little help from my friends.

7. Soulfade are my favourite band of all time.

8. Besides Soulfade I also enjoy a variety of music including metal, early 90s dance music and Tim McGraw.

9. I believe (correctly) that Die Hard is the greatest film of all time. Willis, Rickman, McTiernan and De Bont all on top form.

10. When it comes to TV you can't beat sitting down with a beer and watching a sitcom. Any sitcom. Hell, I even kinda like 8 Simple Rules. (Note: Hi De Hi and Allo Allo do not count as sitcoms. They are war crimes.)

11. Unsurprisingly I am a massive nerd of the Star Trek/Comics/Cartoon variety.

12. My drink of choice is Budweiser. It says King of Beers right on the damn bottle. It must be. I also quite enjoy Captain Morgan's Rum too. It's probably not about the taste though, I imagine that if they existed I'd be big fans of Colonel Vodka or Emporer Brand Tequila.

13. It makes little sense to just throw this out here, but the greatest pun of all time was written by a Hawaian wedding photographer. Just Maui'd. Genius.

14. When it comes to video games, the boss at the end of the third level of Rainbow Islands will go down as one of the most nails gaming moments ever.

15. Whilst looking like some kind of biker type chap, I only have the one tattoo and tackily it is the slogan of Blackburn Rovers. It's also the motto of Blackburn itself and it means "Skill and Work." If the town motto was a little more honest it should be "Skol and The Dole."

16. Despite beimg a fully qualified teacher, I currently work in a call centre being shouted at by mmembers of the public. This builds character. Plus, no OFSTED inspections.

17. Hobbies include reading comics, smoking, drinking too much and misanthropy.

18. I have no desire to become a writer but I think I'd work well as a Hollywood ideas man. One day you may get to see the Kurt Russell and Jeff Goldblum buddy movie Cybersaurus Rex.

19. A monkey is funnier than a bear, but if you put a waistcoat on the bear it becomes funnier than the monkey. This can be countered by giving the monkey a hat but even this is ultimately trumped by making the bear drive a very small car. Elephants are not funny.

20. I quite like postmodernism in the sense of intertextuality, over use of irony and self-reflexiveness.

21. At this moment in time I am at home after work, drinking a budweiser and listening to Alice Cooper. Because of a self imposed deadline I have only 11 minutes to finish this. And I will live up to the deadline because...

22. I tend to have no discipline when it comes to writing things and leave most of it unfinished with the intention to complete it later. Which I never do.

23. "Pledge" is my favourite word to say in the English language. Very satisfying sound. My favourite word to write is "Hngh".

24. 24 is my favourite number. It is useful for counting hours in a day, crates of things and you can divide it easily by 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 8 and 12! Versatile!

25. I don't really like Christmas even though it makes it more likely for me to watch Die Hard and Scrooged. I have a bit of a "Bah! Humbug!" thing going on myself, except with coarser language and less ghosts.

26. I've been writing things mainly about me on the interweb (with one or two more meaningful things) since Blackburn College back in 1997. Being at college was probably the best time of my life, although life right now is running a very close second.

27. If advanced genetic surgery became available, I'd quite like to have gills, a scorpion tail and a parrot's beak. Mainly for the cosmetic and aesthetic value, but also because I'd quite like to go on a reign of terror.

28. One thing I want to see before I die is a bear fight a gorilla. Not because I like creulty to animals (don't go to many badger baiting matches or cock fights) but because I really want to know who would win.

29. Toni Di Bart rocks my world!

30. I like lists of 30 things. It's just the right length. Long enough to be a challenge but not so long as to be impossible. And you only ever write 29 anyway because the last one on the list is never a proper one. Huzzah!

Well, there we go. A nice brief entry to introduce you to This Sentence. Hope you like the place. I certainly do. I think I'm going to like it here. This is my new page and you should all pop along and join me. JOIN ME!




*They don't.